52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks

Our challenge this week is to write about a favorite photo. Of course my first thought was of all the photos I have that are still in boxes, untagged and not digitized. I added it to my genealogy to-do list.

Then, I got sucked into the rabbit hole of looking at photos in albums, sorting the photos in boxes, trying to find my favorite. It was a very pleasant rabbit hole. I finally picked a favorite.

This is a photo of four generations. My grandmother, Helen Riggs Greiner, is holding my father, Robert Greiner. He appears to be around a year old. So I am guessing the photo was taken around 1930. Next to her is is my great-grandmother, Lydia Heininger Seeger. My great-grandmother, Cora Seeger Riggs, is seated next to her. The gentleman in the photo is my grandmother's brother, Vernard Riggs. He is holding his daughter, Marjorie.

I love multi-generational photos like this one. It's fun to see who resembles whom. It looks like I got my frizzy, curly hair from Cora.

52 Weeks 52 Ancestors

When I was about 10 years old, my grandmother showed me an old coverlet. She said that it had belonged to one of her great-grandmothers. It had been handed down to the oldest daughters and one day it would be mine.

 That's when I got hooked on genealogy. Over the years my research has been rather hit or miss (boxes of photos and piles of paper on the floor.)

I just completed Boston University's Genealogical Research Certification program. It was intense! I felt totally out of my league, compared to some of my brilliant classmates. I had so many bad habits and gaps in my knowledge. But I made it!

One of my resolutions for 2018 is to put what I learned into action. Some of the photos are in an album and the papers are in binders. I'm ready to begin 52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks!.

Illustrated Woman

The mailbox was bulging and the phone was ringing off the hook, reminding me that I had a milestone birthday coming up. I wanted to do something to mark the occasion. What does every newly minted senior citizen need?   A Tattoo!

Independance Seaport Museum, Philadelphia

My decision was not the result of a tequila fueled girl's night out, but rather something that I had been thinking about for a long time. Several years ago, on a trip to Northern Michigan, I tried to convince my sister and cousin that we should get matching tattoos. (Ok--that was the result of several glasses of wine). I continued to want a tattoo but that was a far as I got. Until my daughter made an appointment for a consultation to get her own tattoo. I thought, "What the hell. It's now or never."

We met with Kurt, our tattoo artist. He talked to each of us in depth. Were we sure we wanted a tattoo? Where? I choose the image of a lotus to symbolize that something beautiful could arise from all the darkness and negativity of the past year. I talked to the artist and decided to get the tattoo on the front of my shoulder, I could see it everyday but could also easily cover it up.

Finally it was T-Day. As we drove to our appointment, I thought of my father. When I had begged to get my ears pierced at 16, he had said NO. Only hussies and gypsies had pierced ears. My friends pierced their ears at slumber parties with a needle, thread and ice cubes. I begged some more. He relented, but I had to have my ears pierced by a doctor in his office. What would my Dad have thought about a tattoo? He probably would have said the only sailors and circus performers have tattoos. He would have found comfort in the fact that the tattoo parlor looked like a dentist's office and Kurt preached cleanliness and hygiene.

The procedure really didn't hurt. It just felt like I was being stung by tiny bees. Then Kurt was finished and showed me my new tattoo. When I see my tattoo I am reminded of the good things happening in my life now. 

Kurt did warn us that tattoos are addictive. I'm already thinking about what my next one.

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Chapter One

My last post was a year ago, which means I've been retired for a whole year now. It's been a year of changes, ups and downs and lots of adjustments. What I've learned so far is that retirement is lots harder than it looks.
The first few months are great. For the first time in years I was really able to enjoy the summer--lazy days at the pool, long walks with the dog, and a glass of wine at the end of the perfect day. I decided that I was going to do all the things I'd been putting off. I took a writing class, a knitting class, an art class and a pilates class. I volunteered at the animal shelter, the historical society and the arboretum. I was able to take a fantastic trip to Ecuador and Peru.

Yet, as the days grew shorter, I found myself growing restless. The unstructured hours dragged. I wasn't used to so much togetherness with my husband and daughters. On the other hand, I missed the socialization I had at work. At times I felt very isolated. I also felt that I lost my purpose. 

There is a lot written about the financial aspects of retirement (which is very important), but not much about the social and psychological adjustments. The articles briefly mention finding your passion, think about your purpose, start a new career, make new friends.......

How do you do all this? I'm not sure, but I think it is worth exploring in year two of my retirement.

How are you enjoying retirement?

I see a former co-worker or one of the neighbors and wait for the dreaded question."Now that you are retired aren't you enjoying all your free time?" Frankly, no. Sure at first it was lovely to go the the yoga class at 8:30, have a spontaneous lunch date or take the dog for a long walk in the park. I cleaned up the yard, went kayaking and sat outside and read my book. Now the days are beginning to drag and blur together as I look for ways to fill all my free time. I wake on Monday mornings knowing that I have nowhere to go and nothing really to do.
There is all kinds of information about retirement and finances (which is very important) and general information about what to do after retirement (volunteer! take a class! travel!). But I haven't found much written about the emotional ups and downs that come after retirement. Kathy's Retirement Blog addresses some of these feelings. I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one having trouble adjusting to retirement.
The dictionary defines retirement as a, " withdrawal from one's position or occupation or from active working life; the act of going away or retreating." Most of the people I know who are retired or about to retire don't see themselves as withdrawing or retreating from life. They are looking for ways to enjoy themselves and contribute to society.
I think some of the adjustment issues stem from how society views retirement. I read somewhere that everyone wants to retire but no one wants to get old. When you retire you lose one of your major definers as a person--what kind of work you do. Suddenly you are invisible, uninteresting and redundant.You are the annoying person holding up the line at Starbucks because you want to chat, the old lady in the cat sweatshirt or the cute couple who eats dinner at 4:30.

September has always been a time of renewal and beginning for me---a new season, new school supplies, new clothes....Now I begin another adventure, a new chapter in my life.
 How do I adjust to retirement? What is dynamic aging? What are my passions? 

Life Throws A Curve

I've been retired for two months now. It was not my decision and I'm still reeling from the shock.
My sister was diagnosed with cancer. My husband and I were passing like ships in the night as we flew back and for to Colorado to care for her. In February we got the news that there wasn't anything else the doctors could do---chemo wasn't working & there weren't any trials---so my sister went on hospice care. My daughter was moving to Japan. My husband developed a serious infection in his foot and had to have surgery. I was worrying about him as I packed my bags and prepared to move in with my sister and act as her caregiver.

I kept in contact with work primarily to have something to think about besides watching my sister die. My boss seemed to be caring and supportive-telling me not to worry about work. My sister died April 30. I had so many things to deal with I didn't tell work( or anyone besides immediate family for that matter) right away. I knew I still had a few sick days and vacation time to use and I thought I was being responsible by giving my boss a definite date for my return.
I walked into work after being gone for over 2 months, still grieving for my sister and adjusting to being in my own house again. My boss called me into her her office to meet with the HR person to discuss my time off. I was informed that I was in violation of company policy and subject to disciplinary action. I didn't know what to say. Caring for my sister didn't stop when she died, I still had time coming to me, no one, my boss or HR, had said anything about this beforehand. I was told that I would know my fate in a couple of days.
I tried to focus on work, but my brain kept going over and over the interview. What should I have said, done, not done.....What will they do???? A "bad girl" letter and make me pay back the time???
They called my in at 4:00 on Thursday afternoon and handed me a paper that said TERMINATED. What?? This was a bad dream. I've been with the organization 17 years, I love my job, I've always been the good girl who followed the rules, heck I was a person in charge who enforced the rules.
I sat in stunned silence. . Ding! Ding! Ding! For today only we have a blue light special Instead of being fired I could  retire, but I had to decide then and there. I called my husband in tears and we decided retirement was the best of the worst. After I told them about my decision the HR person started talking about what kind of cake I would like. (Really, you've just destroyed my career and taken away my income and I'm supposed to care about cake???). Then they were both kind enough to tell me that since I must be so stressed I didn't have to work until 9:00 that night. So I bolted out the door and went home in tears.
Some how I got through the next two weeks, concentrating on doing my job and getting things in order for my replacement. My boss had the temerity to tell me how graceful I was during all this. (Really bitch, wtf do you want me to do? I am leaving with some dignity). I didn't tell anyone at work what really happened. I was afraid if I said anything it would affect my retirement benefits and I was humiliated and embaressed. I smiled through my retirement party, listened to the laundry list of all the wonderful things I had accomplished, hugged my co-workers and didn't even wince when my boss hugged me and told me how much she would miss me. I held my head up and I walked out the door to my car. And then cried all the way home, wondering what my future holds.